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Jack and Jill went up the hill [entries|friends|calendar]
I'm half Jill________________________and half Jack

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[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[13 Jun 2006|10:13pm]
Great news! I saved a lot of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico!

Oh, by the way, I got marriedCollapse )
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[15 May 2006|10:54am]
Sean is wrong!!


This was not because I spend too much time handling benzene and not enough handling Ybor Gold, it was because I realized I'm getting married next week without a prenup. He's only after my 47K + benefits.

I hope I get a raise, soon; I'd really like a hummer before the ozone has depleted completely and we're all dead.
10 comments|post comment

[26 Feb 2006|01:37pm]
[ mood | ball-and-chained ]

Since I was turned down for a contestant spot on next season's The Bachelor and I already got cut from making it with Flavor Flav, I guess I have to do things the traditional way.


I'm getting married.

5 comments|post comment

[23 Mar 2005|03:56am]
If you woke up and I was in bed with you, what would be your first thought? Be honest.
10 comments|post comment

[10 Mar 2005|04:17am]
I recently had a birthday, but I forgot to celebrate with style.
14 comments|post comment

Oh my gosh! This is the most accurate quiz I've ever taken! [01 Dec 2004|01:04pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]


How big is your penis?
Name / Username
You penis is this many inches: 16
This Quiz by Shoesrbad - Taken 42163 Times.
</a>
New - Help with love and dating!

4 comments|post comment

Trick or treat! [26 Oct 2004|12:53am]
I'm going to Florida this weekend for HALLOWEEN.


I can't decide if I want to be A) Lizzie Borden, B) Lizzie Mcguire, C) Anorexia (which would entail dressing as a skeleton and holding a mirror with a fat person taped to it) or possibly do a Puff Daddy/J Lo tag team.


Dibs on Daddy.. AND Diddy.
4 comments|post comment

[27 Aug 2004|11:47pm]
[ mood | indifferent ]

All the cool kids are moving to Nashville, ie, me.

2 comments|post comment

[23 Aug 2004|08:49pm]
By the way, I got a haircut.
3 comments|post comment

WHAT?! NO MORE WELFARE??!! [23 Aug 2004|04:56pm]
[ mood | intimidated ]

Many of you in Livejournal Land (when I say many of you I mean Sean and my roommate, who actually doesn't care what I have to say or else she'd quit eating my Cinnamon Toast Crunch and she probably doesn't really read this) know that I recently interviewed for a position blowing up shit in the chemical world.


Well, today I was offered the job and I have to let them know of my decision within the next few days.



+ $40K starting salary which is about 10 grand more than I'm going to make starting most places and about $26,000 more than I'm making now.
+ No More Sports Bar
+ Medical Insurance!!!! (Something every young 20something only dreams of!)



- Tennessee
- My dog gets nervous in unfamilar places and pukes everywhere.
- I'm on the lease until December
- Uh, Tennessee
- Oh, Tennessee



I'm getting nervous and will puke everywhere. Um, I mean, my dog will.


Is it time to let go and grow up, and more importantly, get paid to BLOW UP SHIT!!

?

help. massages, gifts of love and expensive presents are welcome to ease the stress of this difficult time.

3 comments|post comment

[17 Aug 2004|03:36pm]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

The Vault was all here this weekend.. back together for the last party before life officially started.


Maybe for the last time..


Life really sucks.


I'm getting fat.

3 comments|post comment

I'd make my advisor proud! But not my parents... [11 Aug 2004|07:50pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

ha I pushed Jack: i made you a cd today but decided you wouldn't like it
sean eat beans: so. i knew you wouldn't like the cd i made for you. but i like you, so i gave it to you anyway
sean eat beans: because i like you.
sean eat beans: did i mention that i like you?
ha I pushed Jack: you didn't.
sean eat beans: i like you jill
sean eat beans: i like you very much.
sean eat beans: one might say i love you.
sean eat beans: in fact i will
sean eat beans: i love you jill, you excite me like an electron.
ha I pushed Jack: electrons have a negative charge :-\
ha I pushed Jack: i want to give you a positive charge
sean eat beans: but they bustle about.
ha I pushed Jack: can i excite you like a proton?
sean eat beans: fine, i'm a proton
ha I pushed Jack: we just made chemistry love
sean eat beans: how reactive.
sean eat beans: does that mean we have chemistry?
ha I pushed Jack: that's what i'd calculate
sean eat beans: we should make ionic bonds.
ha I pushed Jack: i'd rather make covalent bonds. it involves sharing parts. private. parts.
sean eat beans: aren't they private negative parts?
ha I pushed Jack: are we having cyber sex?
sean eat beans: something like that. i feel like a geek
ha I pushed Jack: i'm gonna make you combust
sean eat beans: woah...
sean eat beans: i'm going to split your atom by shooting it with protons... then we'll see what reaction we have.
ha I pushed Jack: maybe we'll create a new element
sean eat beans: remarkable.

1 comment|post comment

[10 Aug 2004|12:42pm]
[ mood | BAD ATTITUTDED ]

Hi, I'm BAD ATTITUDE Loughery. Nice to meet you.

Anyway I have to go get down with the sickness. I'll be back later.


KTHANKSBYE

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[04 Aug 2004|05:05pm]
[ mood | devious ]

i need a real job



and a haircut



and an assrub



help me out?

6 comments|post comment

[22 Jul 2004|12:05am]
[ mood | chipper ]

my dog is a cam whore



he needs to get himself a bitch.

3 comments|post comment

[21 Jul 2004|01:48am]
boot on car = kajebab will die soon
3 comments|post comment

a day in the life of jill alexandria loughry [13 Jul 2004|08:04pm]
[ mood | battered ]

Dear Diary,

Today sucked. SUCKED.


In true Tuesday fashion, things were less than amazing, but I didn't have to go to work today so I thought I'd have a nice productive day full of errands, charities, healing the sick and afflicted and maybe even an evening of hot make out action. Little did I know what was in store...


I woke up. This in itself was not unusual so I didn't right away have any "Bad Day" Omens. I took a shower. This is also fairly usual practice. What, did you think I was some kind of free-loving hippie bastard? Anyway I went to the cupboard to pour myself a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch, the breakfast of champions. The box was there, but the contents were not. . . ALYSSA MARIE SCOTT. YOU BITCH!.

Then there wasn't any milk. Man, did I have a BAD DAY OMEN for breakfast. And a banana. Mmm, potassium.


Anyway I headed over to the library to return a book (Yes, I do know how to read, although in this case I just got it for the pop-up pictures). Do you know what happened upon exit walking through the parking lot? DO YOU KNOW?

I.GOT.HIT.BY.A.CAR.

I didn't think that really happened to people that weren't walking home from parties or too short to be seen in the rearview mirror (ie children and people with no legs). Supposedly and sadly, this also sometimes happens to dogs and bicycles, but not to Jill. Yet here I am minding my own business when this guy doesn't look and backs up super fucking fast and rams me with his multi-paneled early 80's Dodge Aries. I didn't even know those things could still gain speed. I'd make a report, but I don't know what color the vehicle was. Blue? Yellow? Rust? He hit me hard enough to knock me over. I skinned my elbow. He did apologize, but really the only way to make amends for something like that is to buy me ice cream, which he did not. Asshole.


The day was not over. It was far from over. I had to go to the grocery store to get Cinnamon Toast Crunch and milk and bananas and now ice cream. You know those stupid shoes that are also roller skates? Little kids wear them. Little kids that need to be hit by a 1981 Dodge Aries. There I am minding my own business once again in the milk aisle, trying to decide if I want a paper or plastic half gallon carton. These are big, every day decisions that affect not only our personal refridgerator, but also the world around us. There is a sample table nearby where a lady is demoing chocolate silk soy milk. I thought I had enough of that damn stuff when I lived with vegans. Then this little brat on wheels loses control of his footing (*NOTE TO PARENTS, THIS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN IN REGULAR SHOES) and he smashes into her table and about 20 dixie cups of soy milk splatter ALL OVER ME. As compensation, I would like a free Thanksgiving turkey. And my damn ice cream.

I chose plastic, by the way. The more money we spend on chemicals means the better chance I have of getting a job.


I came home. I was dirty and injured. I would withstand no more. I had mail.


When there were 5 girls living in The Vault, someone was almost always parked in. On one such occasion, it was KATIE and I was the one parking her in. She had to go do some shit one day but I was feeling lazy so I just gave her my car keys. She got a parking ticket. She forgot to pay that parking ticket. I didn't know she had a parking ticket until I got the "if you don't pay this in 10 days it will be $50 and from then on up" letter in the mail and while I was exclaiming that I didn't know what it was about she confessed, took the letter, and promised to take care of it.

Katie, I'm going to kill you. You never paid it. You know how I know? THE $200 FINE I GOT IN THE MAIL TODAY.

You're married to a doctor. Pay up! Or.. or.. Well, I don't know. I'll think of something threatening on a day when I haven't been driven and skated over.


Then I stubbed my toe.


I don't know if I have any make out action left in me. Unless someone wants to spoon-feed me my ice cream?

Or give me a banana..

8 comments|post comment

once upon a time... [11 Jul 2004|07:57am]
[ mood | horny ]

i almost choked on a cock.



good morning.

15 comments|post comment

[08 Jun 2004|04:44pm]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]

roomforjillo's LJ stalker is kajebab!
kajebab is stalking you because they have you confused with someone else whom they love. They are also stalking the rest of your friends list!


LiveJournal Username:


LJ Stalker Finder
From Go-Quiz.com
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[02 Jun 2004|02:34am]
i'm going to bartending school and there's a possibility i might have a boyfriend i think
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